What do I really want for myself right now? More than anything, I would love to finish my college degree that I started over thirty years ago. And, also more than anything, I would love to receive a Bachelor’s in Instrumental Performance. Not because I have any wild expectation of joining a symphony – well, I’d like to play in a Community one – but simply because it means a lot to me. It’s what I want to do for myself at this point in my life.
But there are many hurdles, the primary one being financial. In order to be successful, I’d like to be able to start back full-time, to be able to take advantage of all the chamber groups and other performances that would be available and also required. To be able to practice in a distraction-free environment daily, to be able to make reeds successfully and more expeditiously. To be back on a campus and really enjoying college life and getting everything out of it that I can. This is what I most desire. But how to make it happen. That is where I am presently stuck.
Along with being stuck in trying to problem-solve this issue, is the negative effect it has in trying to remain positive about all of it. And that seriously impacts my practicing and reed-making, and other things associated with playing and learning. It’s something that I really cannot seem to figure out right now, which makes me a bit anxious as well. I would love to just be able to enroll at either NKU or YSU in their Music Program, attend full-time, and devote all of myself to my music. And I think – know – I would do great if given the opportunity. Yes, I’m 54, but so what… I can do this… just need the ability to. Comments, suggestions? Scholarships or grants?